The cloud shaped
like a horse running away.

The gray sleet settling
soft
into memory.

Lost clementines against straw grass.

Fall is Winter is Spring is Summer is
Fall into
the big things...
Life is
   alive
with you in it.

Microcosm...

that you are...

~Miriam Climenhaga

You're making me mad.
I hadn't realized how much you were a part of me until you decided to up and leave and never come back.
There is no wishing or hoping or dreaming.
The only thing permanent is death.
I got drunk and started a painting...the first day I captured a moment...
when I second guessed myself it turned into a different person.
My days passed me by and new people summoned new reflections and came shooting out of my paintbrush.
But none were quite as perfect as your memory.
I tried again by covering you up in white, but the faces of others that weren't you kept rearing their silly heads.
I left you alone.
It's been a year now and the painting just stares at me, as ugly as the day you left.
The air is the same, the leaves are all dying, the sky is warm and waiting to rain.
I tried again.
It isn't working.
How many times will it take to get it right?
It won't matter much...
It will never be...

My husband found this in his book "100 Years of Fishing" this evening. It makes me wonder what other drawings/paintings I have stuck in random books. You will most likely find me rummaging through all the books on my giant bookshelf tomorrow... ;)